Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize