I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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