Are we in a gay sports bar?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
