Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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