Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
