I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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