So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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