My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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