so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm at about main and main street
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
