yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The best revenge is premature balding
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
