Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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