An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
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Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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