I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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