I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
