I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
