Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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