So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
