Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
