i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think your dad took our porno
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
