Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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