just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.