i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.