yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
about cumming, not toast
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now