Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
