are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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