halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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