Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
