btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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