I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
