Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize