Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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