today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
