How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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