i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
