The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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