I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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