I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
