dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
