I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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