i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you never un-have a 4some
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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