is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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