Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Is her dick bigger than yours?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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