Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
love makes seman taste better
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
