Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
