He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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