you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
