Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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