Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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