i can't believe i had my finger in that
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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