so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
