Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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