omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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