Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
