Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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