She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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