I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
