I'm pants shitting drunk right now
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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