susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
