Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
