That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize