I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize