Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
