Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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