i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
