my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
